Cameroonians are very direct people. Total strangers will want to find out who
you are and tell you what to do i.e. go to a night club with them, marry them, give
them money, sit in their taxi.
In
3,000 francs’. If you respond no, they will say ‘Ok then give me 2,500 francs.’ It
is no good saying that you don’t want the tacky beads because they will then just
say ‘then just give me some money’. Here are two of the most common
conversations that occur daily.
The Marriage Conversation (circular) Only happens in the French speaking
part of
Total stranger Will you marry me?
Me No
Total stranger Why not?
Me Several reasons, but as a starting point, I am already very happily married.
Total stranger But I want to marry you.
Me But you don’t know me or anything about me. Do you want to marry me or do you want a visa?
Total stranger I want a visa, but, I also want to marry you. So will you marry me?
Me No
Total stranger Why not? (go back to the start and continue for as long as you want)
The NGO Conversation (circular)
Total stranger Are you here with an NGO?
Me Yes
Total stranger Are you going to fund some development?
Me Yes I am working with your local council to improve their effectiveness so that they can represent you better.
Total stranger That’s really great. I am so happy you are here. You are welcome.
Me Thank you.
Total stranger But are you going to give us money to build new roads?
Me No. I am working with your local council to improve their effectiveness so that they can represent you better.
Total strange That’s really great. I am so happy you are here. You are welcome.
Me Thank you.
Total stranger But are you going to give us money to build new roads?
Repeat the conversation for as long as they are walking next to you (5, 10, 15
minutes)
The Ordering Meal Conversation
This is the conversation at every restaurant in Cameroon.
Me Can I see the menu?
Waitress here it is
Me Can I have this fish and some green beans
Waitress We don’t have that fish and we have no beans. You could have this fish with mixed vegetables.
Me Ok, this fish and mixed vegetables
20 minutes later
Waitress You can’t have mixed vegetables because we do not have any beans
Me Can I have mixed vegetables without beans
Waitress I will ask in the kitchen
30 minutes later
Waitress No
Me So, what have you got?
Waitress Fried Barr (a type of white fish) and fried plantains
Me OK I will have that
90 minutes later it is served minus the plantains. They come once the fish has
been eaten and are taken away without consultation.
I now know that the first question to ask is ‘what is there to eat? Even that is a
redundant question because I know the answer. The answer is always fried Barr
and fried plantains.
So, it has taken me 6 weeks to get this right. The thing to do is to go into a
restaurant and say ‘ Can I have some Barr and fried plantains please. I will still
wait around 90 minutes for the food but it saves waiting to hear what they have
not got.
NB This conversation is ALL in French (when in Yaoundé). Thank you thank you
to my French teacher, Valerie for such great lessons. They are working.
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